11:32pm

Last night I realized I didn't hate yu.
I wasn't angry with yu. Nor upset.
I didn't want to hurt yu, kick yu, punch yu, none of that.
I just want to love yu.
I do love yu.
& yu know it to.
Yu told me so.
Yu always say things to make me laugh and smile when I shouldn't
&&
when I asked why do yu irritate me yu said,
"I just like making yu smile when there's absolutely nothing funny."
All smile from me. =D.
Yu kinda have my heart and I'm not sure yu realize it.
Won't let another get next to me because it's yu that's in me.
Yu thought I didn't care, so I had to set it straight.
I care
but I get tired of the no responses and replies.
How am I suppose to feel?
But I care.
Always have. Always Will.
I love yu.
&&
Last night I realized I didn't hate yu.

RaiOut

10:44a

I'm suc cess. Fuck stress.  I'm up next.

welcome home.

I accidently called yu yesterday.

usually yur phone only half rings

but yesterday

it rang twice.

That when I realized

Yu were home.

I hung up quick,

hoping yu wouldn't call back

yet wishing yu just might.

My Melancholy Happiness

Welcome Home.

RaiOut

9.39a

Ummm can yu....

WTF?!?

I KNOW I NEED MY OWN SHOW BUT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE TV?

1. We not talking nor dating so yu should never call me nor ask me for anythng thats gotta do with financing something for yu && yurs.
2. Yu have a son. YOUR SON. Who I don't take care of nor have a relationship with.
3. Do not,I repeat DO NOT, tell me no other is like yu when I found a better brotha.
4. Don't EVER ACT LIKE I'M ON STANDBY WHEN YU HAVE ME ON SPEED DIAL.

Meet

Chase n. Cashe

SAY SOMETHING.

[Drake] (Chorus)

This sh-t was all I knew,

you and me only,

and I did it all for you,

still you were lonely,

we coulda worked it out,

uhh, but i guess things change,

its funny how someone else’s success brings pain,

when ya no longer involved that person has it all,

and you just stuck standing there,

But, I’m gonna need you to say something baby,

say something baby,

say something baby,

I’m gonna need you to say something baby,

say something baby,

say something baby,

[Timbaland]

Yeah,

ever since I’ve been long gone,

I traded in my senorita for a microphone,

I hate the way you fell apart girl, its sad to see,

your life is good but me and you it’s catastrophe,

if I was unsuccessful would you be satisfied,

I need a paramedic girl, I’m feeling paralysed,

if I could choose, you will always be a friend to me,

the more money I made you acting like an enemy,

its crazy, I can’t help it if you feel ashamed,

lots of depression will turn you into my …,

how can something so familiar be so strange,

closest friends get estranged when the status change,

ahh, is it my mistake, think that where I am and where you at,

and my whole wild … is the only one that had my back,

you were the perfect girl, now it seems we don’t match,

is it the money, want me to give it back,

[Chorus]

[Drake]

Uhh, i am the topic of conversation, this a celebration,

lets toast to the fact that I moved out my momma basement,

to a condo downtown because its all about location,

I sit and drink wine and watch californication of life,

you shoulda been here to kick it with me,

lyrics courtesy of Killerhiphop.com

we coulda split this whole thing up 50/50,

but now i’m at the 40/40 getting b-tches tipsy,

killing sh-t the ever so talented Mr Ripley,

how I go from being the man that you argue with,

to me and Dwayne Carter putting out the hardest sh-t,

I should wanna go back to the one I started with,

but I’m addicted to this life its gonna be hard to quit,

yeah, just ask me how things are coming along,

you can tell me that you never heard none of my songs,

long as you end up saying one day you plan to listen,

cos whats a star when its most important fan is missing?

(Chorus)

XMas Gift #3

yes,i knw. SO MANish. I am.

I have the secret knowlegde,and with knowledge you can face up to anything,for knowledge is power.
Words of the day.

Xmas #2

i'd love yu FOREVER.

Amen.

WE got in....

...just gotta keep it up.

We all have flaws. Question is would we rather have someone flawless or one who complements them?

Iwish i didnt meet yu.
i wish i didnt laugh at yu.
i wish yu wouldnt've told ya guy yu were feeling me.
i wish yu wouldn't've said i was someone yu were looking for.
I wish i wouldn't have taken ya number then called yu.
i wish yu didn't ask about my past.
i wish yu didn't tell me about yu.
i wish yu didn't tell me yu liked me.
i wish yu wouldn't've made that hour trip to sit with me while i got my nails done and look in my eyes.
i wish we wouldn't have ever kissed.
i wish i didn't fall.
I wish yu didn't catch me.
I wish we didn't have to slip.
i wish we wouldn't've changed.
i wish yu stayed.
i wish we wouldve had that conversation sooner.
i wish i didn't have these thoughts and yu'd come home.

From Sister to Sister; A White Woman to The Brothers

White women's opinion of black women & a brother's response. Please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this black man.

Enjoy.

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.

I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...

I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't ! be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA





RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgiawith a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just wa! nt to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.

The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.

I have talked to numerous black men an! d they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.

Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Re! ad your history!

It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.

Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.

Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Thanks To Demecos Chambers for the insight.

XMas Gift

#1...

The Cesario in Black & Hot Pink Women's Sneakers By Creative Recreation

In Brief #6

6. Give us your "Top Ten" list. 

1. "Know Thyself" –Socrates
2. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence,therefore,is not a mere act but but a habit." -Aristotle  
3. "The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance." –Socrates
4. "Losing sight of what you're doing is as second nature as breathing. Discipline is necessary" –LiEU
5. "When I'm silent I'm thinking.My thoughts are like bullets. When I start talking you're done for-LiEU."* Revised to apply to WFC.
6. The idea is to write it so people hear it&it slides through the brain&goes straight to the heart
7. You know, my faith is one that admits some doubt.  –Obama
8. Everybody Talk and Everybody listen but somehow the truth always end up missing. –Drake
9. If a (wo)man is not faithful to his/her own individuality,(s)he cannot be loyal to anything.-McKay
10. "What's Understood don't gotta be explained." -Lil Wayne

World Aids Day.

Started on 1st December 1988, World AIDS Day is about raising money, increasing awareness, fighting prejudice and improving education. The World AIDS Day theme for 2009 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights'. World AIDS Day is important in reminding people that HIV has not gone away, and that there are many things still to be done.

According to UNAIDS estimates, there are now 33.4 million people living with HIV, including 2.1 million children. During 2008 some 2.7 million people became newly infected with the virus and an estimated 2 million people died from AIDS.¹Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35.²

The vast majority of people with HIV and AIDSlive in lower- and middle-income countries. But HIV today is a threat to men, women and children on all continents around the world.

AIDS stands for: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome

AIDS is caused by HIV.

What is HIV?

HIV is a virus that attacks the body's immune system - the body's defence against diseases.

Are HIV and AIDS the same?

No. When someone is described as living with HIV, they have the HIV virus in their body. A person is considered to have developed AIDS when the immune system is so weak it can no longer fight off a range of diseases with which it would normally cope.

How is HIV passed on?

HIV can be passed on through infected blood, semen, vaginal fluids or breast milk.

The most common ways HIV is passed on are:

• Sex without a condom with someone living with HIV
• Sharing infected needles, syringes or other injecting drug equipment
• From an HIV-positive mother (to her child) during pregnancy, childbirth or breastfeeding (but with effective treatment and care the risk of transmission can be greatly reduced)

I don't know anyone with HIV... do I?

Today there are more people than ever before living with HIV , but less people report knowing someone with HIV.  People with HIV generally look healthy and many do not find it easy to tell other people, so you may not realize if someone you know is HIV positive.

Always use a condom when having vaginal or anal sex. You also may want to use a condom or dental dam during oral sex although the risk of transmission of HIV is much lower. You can get free condoms from a sexual health clinic, which you can locate at via the fpa website. Never share needles, syringes or any other injecting equipment.

Racial Breakdown

Race	% of AIDS diagnoses in 20075	% of population in 20076
White	30%	66%
Black/African American	49%	12%
Hispanic/Latino	19%	15%
Asian	1%	4%
American Indian/Alaska Native	<1%	<1%
Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander	<1%	<1%

Geographical Breakdown

•                                         highest
• 
• 
• 
• 
• lowest

Get Tested.Get Informed.

Conversation between States

Come here.
Don't tease me.
I want yu.
I want yu NOW.
Hope the feeling isn't temporary.
Never was. I wanted yu then.
Be mine.
I'm yours just not now.
I know.
Gotta get it together...For me. For yu. For us. I love hard.
Get it together. Time will come to love me hard.If it falls right.
Everything will fall right at the right time.I always fall right.
We shall see.
Testing me again?
Not at all.
Ok,Miss.
Sir.

smh...

i feel like im waiting on a bus thats never coming but i just keep waiting....

maybe i should call a taxi?

I'm hungry.
I'm starving actually.
I need to be fed.
Scratch that. Need to feed myself.
I'll find my own.
I'm thirsty.
Dehydrated.
Partched.
Can yu let me have a sip?
it's ok i'll find my way to the waterhole.

We Miss.

We miss the small things,
Like talking late nights, writing love notes, being kids.
We miss the small things,
Like hellos, goodbyes, and everything in between.
We miss the small things,
Like smiles, touches, and looking into one’s eyes.
Its funny how these small things make up this large thing,
This large thing we don’t want to miss, like the small things.
We don’t want to miss the that large thing,
Like before.






[not really sure if its finished.]

RaiOut.

10:49a

YGB

Young,Gifted,&& Brown....
That's what I am.
That's what she is,
oh and her.
Now we can't forget that lovely lady over there,
Him,
and he, especially handsome he too.


*all brown words linked to associates' blogs.

Weak at the knees for ya, hoping to fall,that is if everything still stands.

Dear Soldier,

Dear Soldier,

               I Miss Yu.

                           Happy B0RNday. Congrats on growing into another year.I recall our first time talking,the interview. I found out some of the most intimate details to you... I remember our conversation before you left. First let me say I'm sorry I acted like an ass. I'm sorry I was being selfish and for doubting you.I'm sorry. I know I'll say it again when you come home because the chances you being able to read this right now are slim to zero. I wish we could travel in time,I'm not sure weather forward or backward yet but wherever I could place us on one accord will suffice. I began trusting you totally @ 8p.m. that day because yu said I should,I needed too. Yu promised in your words exactly,"i wont forget u thats somethin i can promise u totally". Hope everything still stands cuz I'm hoping to fall. I hope this is a good gift.Come home safe and soon.

Signed,Sealed,Dilvered,

Rai

miss yu.

take me away...

my sober truth

"From my "Pyramid Perspective" place my roots at the bottom,my foundation and yu at the top. Not in the order of importance but a temporary state,  removed as easily as yu were placed. No Destruction to me."


             -Rai

a ROSE by any other name...

dead.

Fake-friends are no friends. Choose wisely.

suicide.

If a (wo)man is not faithful to his/her own individuality,(s)he cannot be loyal to anything. That's me vs yu. I'm ME.

-Rai

Hello Boys && Girls! I am Dr.Gethers and today we're going to discuss false CONFORMITY.

from Webster's

Main Entry: con·for·mi·ty

Pronunciation: \kən-ˈfȯr-mə-tē\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural con·for·mi·ties

Date: 15th century

1 : correspondence in form, manner, or character : agreement 2 : an act or instance of conforming 3 : action in accordance with some specified standard or authority

from UrbanDictionary

The tendency for all human beings to atttempt to belong to a group of people, by any means necessary, in order to feel secure and wanted. Conformity is displayed particularly well by weak-minded individuals who fear loneliness, and when alone feel too afraid to stand up for themselves. Conformity is allowing anything other than your own true desires to influence your decision making. Conformity is what separates the true individuals, who are oppressed and hated, from everybody else.

____________________________________________________________________

Why must people live up to certain standards? Why not live beyond them? I had an associate, who i used to call friend, but when i truly evaluated what we had, i saw it wasn't much. So as I usually do i isolated myself, not slowly or gradually,suddenly enough where it caused a slight uproar. Opps. I'm known to kinda do that,just kinda separate myself,not cause I got a "holier than thou" attitude, just I'm better than the elementary ish.But back to shorty, she started to fade in with everybody else, lost that lively differenter spirit to be like those around.While evaluating our relationship, I saw I didn't trust her. Why? Cause I've seen her do her dirt, add the water making a mess, and get dirty in the mud. I realized I have ONE honest real friend who I could trust with my life and I know its vice versa. This is one thing that told me walk away. I've seen this girl talk down ,talk about, and try to run over people. I'm not one of those type of people, even in my own leadership roles[i knw i have said and done some rude things but not like i used to.] I know I have a confidence about me some mistake for a slight arrogance, if yu don't know me but shorty sometimes has this snotty aura about her. I have sooo much more to touch on Im just gonna back off this personal vent and hit on some other thoughts? Why is it not ok in society's eyes to be separated. I am not a loner, in my own right yes, but i like people and see myself as a very social person.One is soo NOT the loneliest number. I think solitude allows yu that intimacy with yourself that yu can only gain while being alone. Some people try to vie for attention from the wrong type of people when they should be focusing on themselves. I know everyone has someone they thought they once were really close or cool to and then at a point they grew apart. This is what this is...... here's my self-reliance.

There is a time in every woman's life

when she arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance, yu might realize

that imitation is suicide.

So she must take and make herself. For Better or for Worse

NOT for a man nor associates who due to conformity will in up dead in a hurst.

She must build her self-esteem and her self-worth.

What does she have to do with the sacredness of traditions,if she lives holy from within?

They do not seem to me as such; but if i am the devil's child, I will live from him.

Yu have the right to know it's wrong

because you know G0D is the real reason you've become so strong.

No law can be scared to me but of my nature,

NOTIHNG can conform me not even legislature.

Good and Bad are but only names transferable to that and this.

The only right is what's in my constitution, the only wrong is what's against it.

RaiOut

704p