smh...

i feel like im waiting on a bus thats never coming but i just keep waiting....

maybe i should call a taxi?

I'm hungry.
I'm starving actually.
I need to be fed.
Scratch that. Need to feed myself.
I'll find my own.
I'm thirsty.
Dehydrated.
Partched.
Can yu let me have a sip?
it's ok i'll find my way to the waterhole.

We Miss.

We miss the small things,
Like talking late nights, writing love notes, being kids.
We miss the small things,
Like hellos, goodbyes, and everything in between.
We miss the small things,
Like smiles, touches, and looking into one’s eyes.
Its funny how these small things make up this large thing,
This large thing we don’t want to miss, like the small things.
We don’t want to miss the that large thing,
Like before.






[not really sure if its finished.]

RaiOut.

10:49a

YGB

Young,Gifted,&& Brown....
That's what I am.
That's what she is,
oh and her.
Now we can't forget that lovely lady over there,
Him,
and he, especially handsome he too.


*all brown words linked to associates' blogs.

Weak at the knees for ya, hoping to fall,that is if everything still stands.

Dear Soldier,

Dear Soldier,

               I Miss Yu.

                           Happy B0RNday. Congrats on growing into another year.I recall our first time talking,the interview. I found out some of the most intimate details to you... I remember our conversation before you left. First let me say I'm sorry I acted like an ass. I'm sorry I was being selfish and for doubting you.I'm sorry. I know I'll say it again when you come home because the chances you being able to read this right now are slim to zero. I wish we could travel in time,I'm not sure weather forward or backward yet but wherever I could place us on one accord will suffice. I began trusting you totally @ 8p.m. that day because yu said I should,I needed too. Yu promised in your words exactly,"i wont forget u thats somethin i can promise u totally". Hope everything still stands cuz I'm hoping to fall. I hope this is a good gift.Come home safe and soon.

Signed,Sealed,Dilvered,

Rai

miss yu.

take me away...

my sober truth

"From my "Pyramid Perspective" place my roots at the bottom,my foundation and yu at the top. Not in the order of importance but a temporary state,  removed as easily as yu were placed. No Destruction to me."


             -Rai

a ROSE by any other name...

dead.

Fake-friends are no friends. Choose wisely.

suicide.

If a (wo)man is not faithful to his/her own individuality,(s)he cannot be loyal to anything. That's me vs yu. I'm ME.

-Rai

Hello Boys && Girls! I am Dr.Gethers and today we're going to discuss false CONFORMITY.

from Webster's

Main Entry: con·for·mi·ty

Pronunciation: \kən-ˈfȯr-mə-tē\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural con·for·mi·ties

Date: 15th century

1 : correspondence in form, manner, or character : agreement 2 : an act or instance of conforming 3 : action in accordance with some specified standard or authority

from UrbanDictionary

The tendency for all human beings to atttempt to belong to a group of people, by any means necessary, in order to feel secure and wanted. Conformity is displayed particularly well by weak-minded individuals who fear loneliness, and when alone feel too afraid to stand up for themselves. Conformity is allowing anything other than your own true desires to influence your decision making. Conformity is what separates the true individuals, who are oppressed and hated, from everybody else.

____________________________________________________________________

Why must people live up to certain standards? Why not live beyond them? I had an associate, who i used to call friend, but when i truly evaluated what we had, i saw it wasn't much. So as I usually do i isolated myself, not slowly or gradually,suddenly enough where it caused a slight uproar. Opps. I'm known to kinda do that,just kinda separate myself,not cause I got a "holier than thou" attitude, just I'm better than the elementary ish.But back to shorty, she started to fade in with everybody else, lost that lively differenter spirit to be like those around.While evaluating our relationship, I saw I didn't trust her. Why? Cause I've seen her do her dirt, add the water making a mess, and get dirty in the mud. I realized I have ONE honest real friend who I could trust with my life and I know its vice versa. This is one thing that told me walk away. I've seen this girl talk down ,talk about, and try to run over people. I'm not one of those type of people, even in my own leadership roles[i knw i have said and done some rude things but not like i used to.] I know I have a confidence about me some mistake for a slight arrogance, if yu don't know me but shorty sometimes has this snotty aura about her. I have sooo much more to touch on Im just gonna back off this personal vent and hit on some other thoughts? Why is it not ok in society's eyes to be separated. I am not a loner, in my own right yes, but i like people and see myself as a very social person.One is soo NOT the loneliest number. I think solitude allows yu that intimacy with yourself that yu can only gain while being alone. Some people try to vie for attention from the wrong type of people when they should be focusing on themselves. I know everyone has someone they thought they once were really close or cool to and then at a point they grew apart. This is what this is...... here's my self-reliance.

There is a time in every woman's life

when she arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance, yu might realize

that imitation is suicide.

So she must take and make herself. For Better or for Worse

NOT for a man nor associates who due to conformity will in up dead in a hurst.

She must build her self-esteem and her self-worth.

What does she have to do with the sacredness of traditions,if she lives holy from within?

They do not seem to me as such; but if i am the devil's child, I will live from him.

Yu have the right to know it's wrong

because you know G0D is the real reason you've become so strong.

No law can be scared to me but of my nature,

NOTIHNG can conform me not even legislature.

Good and Bad are but only names transferable to that and this.

The only right is what's in my constitution, the only wrong is what's against it.

RaiOut

704p

It's Nothin but a Number or Is it?

Is age really nothing but a number?

Does a few years difference change a relationship if everything else is there?

Can we really be friends and hang out or is it impossible due to ones age difference?

As yu should know I'm 17. Yes, SEVENTEEN. The man in this situation is 20. Yes, TWENTY. Now I'm only three years his junior and I understand that is a small amount but significant. This guy and I have known each other by face for a few years but recently just found a new friendship. He works fulltime but next semester will be attending GA State majoring in Criminal Justice.He has his own car,two in fact, a nice paying job, and has a wonderful family. Well my last post was about him. Yes this is the man shocked I asked him out. Well in preparing for our rendezvous, I asked my father if I could go out. Since yu don't personally know my father I'll give yu a little insight. REG is a complex man, very driven, intelligent, creative, protective, an all around good family man who's willing to do and give anything for me. He asked for a little background info on the man I was ATTEMPTING to go out with. With little hesitation I shared his name, personality,how we met, but was slow to fork over the age but I did. His face held no expression but I knew he was thinking like WTF?!? He told me he'd get back to me, I was just hoping he'd say yes. We'd talked about me dating over my age bracket before and he had mafe it seem like no problem. One because he'd dated older and my mother his more than 5 years his senior. Second, He's very much like me. Third, I thought he'd be more understanding. Well the next day his verdict was no. Yes,No. He told me his reasons why....Wanna hear??

1. #1. He's 20.
2. #2.We're in different phases of our lives.
3. #3. Stat Rape... we're kinda iilegal.

Well to debate my point for #1. I've been out with guys older than me,18,19, even a 21 year old once but he's a friend. 20 and I were just going out as friends so I didn't see anything wrong with it. For #2, Yes we are in different phases of our lives but so are thousands of other people who are in relationships with people over and under their own age. As for #3, I went straight to the rule books.

16-6-3 G*** CODE SECTION *** 12/03/0116-6-3.(a) A person commits the offense of statutory rape when he or sheengages in sexual intercourse with any person under the age of 16years and not his or her spouse, provided that no conviction shallbe had for this offense on the unsupported testimony of the victim.(b) A person convicted of the offense of statutory rape shall bepunished by imprisonment for not less than one nor more than 20years; provided, however, that if the person so convicted is 21years of age or older, such person shall be punished by imprisonmentfor not less than ten nor more than 20 years; provided, further,that if the victim is 14 or 15 years of age and the person soconvicted is no more than three years older than the victim, suchperson shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.

Well, this didn't persuade him. As any girl feeling defeated to the fullest I buckled, ran to my room and cried. I'm not one that cries often especially over things like this. After drying my eyes I called my best friend.She keeps me sane. Telling her the horrible news, she asked me how do i feel. I couldn't help but say," defeated, hurt, and angry." She was speechless that daddy had told me no and she couldn't say anything because she'd never been in this situation. I told her I'd be ok and got off the phone to face my fate. I texted him and told him give a call right away. About an hour later he called, tired and worn out ready to chill with me. I told him it was something I had to tell him even though I'd rather do it face to face. He was in the car and it was loud,as bad as I wanted to tell him I couldn't at least not then. So we got off the phone and decided to pick up later. As he got home he sent a text asking me what was my curfew, Thats when I broke the news. He was understanding but I knew his feelings were slightly hurt. We cut our conversation shorter than usual. Immediately, I knew things wouldn't be the same.

Can yu answer these three questions,Is age really nothing but a number?
Does a few years difference change a relationship if everything else is there?
Can we really be friends and hang out or is it impossible due to ones age difference?

RaiOut

9:21p