who is the reason for this post.
Yesterday I was feeling kinda down and lonely,and it didn't help that I was alone the ENTIRE day. I cleaned up, sat around, watched a few movies then Brown Sugar came on. I love Brown Sugar.[not as much as Love Jones or Poetic Justice tho.] That's when it hit me forreal,I wanted some attention. My folks finally arrived home but that wasn't the type of attention I needed. My Homie hit me up with his usual text, "What you doin 2night?". I knew he was tryna chill but I didn't know he was feeling how I was. We went to see Kickass[btw, is a stupid yet halarious movie. I do recommend it if you seriously need a laugh && if you're a guy(Like the homie), you'll LOVE that Mustang.] After that we headed to the gas station and got our normal, me- a Arizona Lemonade him- a Red,yes Red(we're from Memphis) Powerade. We got back to my house and were chilling on the step and he did his ramblings of stories that I'd missed and flashbacks. He rambled longer than normal,knowing something was wrong, hoping I would start rambling to him. I never did. So he asked, No answer. & Again. No Answer. He told me he wouldn't leave til I told him, we'd sit til the Sun came up if we'd have to. No,we wouldn't.He could.I told him it wasn't his concern. He knows me TOO well."If it didn't concern me,you would have told me." Sad part is he was right. I still wouldn't open my mouth so as it grew earlier in the morn,he grew restless and impaitent.So to the 'BluBelle'[what I named his car =)] he went and told me he'd call as he drove. I went into the house,the phone rang_Homie caliing. I answer-"Come Back." "Come Back?" "Come Back. I wanna talk." "IIght." "K." -CLICK-
Two minutes later his hoppin out Belle and on the step. "Talk." "I didn't think you'd come back" [shakes his head] "I'm here,wassup?" "I just got alotta things on my brain." "Like?" [he looks at the sky,it's dark,2:35ish,bout to rain. -HE HATES THE RAIN.-] "It's about to rain? [nods his head.]Go home. I'll call you and tell you." [he chuckles] "Iight."
I go into the house,phone rings_Homie."Hold on. K?" 'iight." Speak to the folks I love, head to my room. I start to spill it little by little. Then he interrupts,something he rarely does especailly to speak about hisself. He starts to tell me things about his past,things he's never told anyone. He asks me a qestion he's asked me before but I've always given the same answer,"Nope." "I don't believe you one f*ckin' bit." This beloved question, "Do you mind if I talked to ------?" That person would be my bestest. I told him I don't mind, I just want you to be happy. [He snapped.] "It's not about what I want or anyone else.When I make decisions I make them with me in mind,with other's feelings into consideration. If this was
WHAT DO I WANT? WHAT DOES RACHAEL WANT?,
the last thing i said and thought before I dozed off to sleep before recieving a phone call.
I texted Homie at 6:46am to tell him what I wanted.
My family to be straight.
Money for out of state tutition
Higher GPA than a 3.0
"A man who compliments me,supports me,trust and respects me,and is doing this own thing with no problem spending a little downtime with me. Someone who I can enjoy plays and dinner with,or just play Xbox,chilling at the house."
Well this ain't my world but i'll work hard to get the things I want and deserve ,how about you?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
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